SHE WANTS TO BE SINGLE AGAIN
Hi, my name is Noye from Warri. My neighbor is contemplating a divorce. I have given her the little advice i know i can offer but her mind is made up to quit the marriage. Her husband has refused her from working and owning a business of her own, yet he does not give her money for her personal upkeep.
They have two children in the boarding school and two at primary level. It breaks her heart to see them complain of school fees and books for school. She says she wants the best for her children and herself. According to her, been on her own will give her the opportunity to work and contribute to the welfare of her children.
Please what is your advice on this matter, should she stay and insist on working or should she quit the marriage and take care of her children?
They have two children in the boarding school and two at primary level. It breaks her heart to see them complain of school fees and books for school. She says she wants the best for her children and herself. According to her, been on her own will give her the opportunity to work and contribute to the welfare of her children.
Please what is your advice on this matter, should she stay and insist on working or should she quit the marriage and take care of her children?
Hmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteInsecurity
ReplyDeleteElse why would he not want her to make money to support him. Except we are not being told the whole truth
ReplyDeleteHi, this is Noye She once told me that men will chase after her at work like they did to his friend. She didn't tell me the man's pay but one thing she said was that they've being paying their children's school fees for months and yet they have not finished paying. She was called some days back to her 2nd child's school to take him home because his fees was not completed while she was on the phone, the second child noticed she was talking to her husband and started crying that he wants his books for school.
ReplyDeleteHer husband said men will chase her at work. That is his reason for her not working. Noye
ReplyDeleteShe shud stick to d marriage.dis is not enuf excuse to divorce.
ReplyDeleteDivorce isn't the way out,if she has spoken 2his parents about it,let her try speaking with his pastor if he has one,or someone he respects,like John said,its Insecurity,however, he still is the Man and her husband,if she's done all she can,she should Pray and keep praying dat God touches him,
ReplyDeleteIts not enough reason to d divorce, and divorce isn't a exit door when marriage isn't working we want....
Its a serious issue she's having,but Divorce isn't an Option..
I have a feeling that this lady is super beautiful or maybe its a case of "beauty in the eyes of the beholder" because it is obvious that the man is not financially able to cater for all the needs of the family and yet would not allow his wife work coz of insecurity issues. Well there are businesses for stay home mums like her. Her position as a woman is to be a helpmate. They have two kids so she should erase divorse from all corners and corridors of her heart and mind. If school made one kid cry, imagine what divorse would do to their mentality and morals. She is the home-maker but nothing stops her from earning some money to support. Its for better for worse my dear figure a solution together. Its possible to work something out
ReplyDeleteNow if its so bad dat d children are starving and all,and he's still not providing,and there is d possibility/assurance dat she has a job able to provide 4dem waiting 4her 2accept,I'll say she separate from him 4a while,take d job,feed her kids,pay dia bills,while she's doing all dis,she's praying dat God touches d man,and still keeping in touch with him so he know we're still ur family and u need 2understand dat we need dis 4now 2keep surviving in d family
ReplyDeleteJust to be clear,separation for a while,NOT DIVORCE!!...I still think Divorce isn't an option.But also separation can be a very a bit touch to manage,...Truth is,she should do whatever she has to to save her Family and Marriage
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't have to divorce her hubby cos, there is always a turning point in a man's life, its better she hangs on until he comes to his senses. There are other things she can do to get money eg, running private biz from home. She can borrow money from her friends and siblings to start
ReplyDelete1) Invest in a friend's biz
2) Catering, cake and decor
3) Recharge card VTU
4) Internet - reporter, proof reading etc
She should stop depending on d man and concentrate on herself and her children.
He will support her if she tells him she will do the home biz.
The man should come to terms with reality and embrace change. A woman that wants to cheat will always find a way to cheat. I'm strongly against a man turning a woman into a baby factory and a mere house wife. If she's intelligent and virtuous she should be given an opportunity to express her God given potential for the benefit of all. Its a cruel and unusual punishment. The issue of insecurity to me is childish, she don born 2 children. Her cheating for me no make sense at all.
ReplyDeleteIf I was in the man's shoes I'll let her work and support the family. If he plays his role as a Lover well cheating won't be an issue. Make him arrange one big wedding band put for her hand crest him name
Noye, I advice she speaks with someone her husband respects because, from what you've told us, her husband is insure. That way they might be able to make him see reasons why she has to go out and work. If he is afraid of her working or establishing her business outside their home, then he should not allow her go to the market to buy food items for the home because there are men in the market too. Their case is serious but not too bad, your friend can work around his insecurity to contribute financially to the home by working from home.
ReplyDeleteI rather she puts this as a prayer request. I rather she speaks with her hubby one on one and ask the holy spirit to help. The hubby has an ego that won't allow a woman foot his responsibility.
ReplyDelete